4th June 1990
The sound of tickling clock can be heard echoing through all the places,
pointing at precisely six twelve. Everything seems to turn into the wrong way.
If only mom had woken me up earlier, I would not be so reckless, handling
everything in hurry ‘till I barely brushed my teeth which has been my routine
sacred morning activities.
Having only half of the breakfast and drinking a glass full of milk are
enough to keep me awake for the rest of the day. All I am worrying about is my
bathing time. I always take a long bath. Once I entered the room, people would
be so annoyed believing that I actually did some kind of meditation. My mind
would get brighter if I showered for times they said. I preferred to be careless and took some longer time to wash up. I got in at five
forty six for then got out twenty minutes later. People started to chatter
everything, they were all mean.
-----
Dad is ready taking me to school. I am not. Fortunately, he is kind enough
to understand that I need time for myself before going out to school. There is
no one to be impressed there. So if you think that I actually dress up myself
and trying to be dandy, you are wrong. I, of course, need to have intelligent conversation, that
is why I always talk to myself. And I always do that before meeting out with
people and having a live conversation.
The wind brush my cheek, play around with my skirt, and Dad has
successfully blocked it for me from the driver seat. I arrive at about six
twenty. I go up through the stairs with this unbelievable heavy backpack. I
sometimes wonder how people can actually only bring a small school bag. How are
they going to put all the stuff needed for the lesson? Well, maybe I am the one
who is stupid enough to bring all the books needed to improve my knowledge. They must be very
clever to just bring a mirror and a cell phone.
I take a seat in
the second row next to Monica. Sitting with her had made such a big improvement
of my life. Monica is clever, funky, a little bit bouncy, and loud. She is one
of type that will never leave your side no matter how bad attitude you throw to
her. She is like a mother to me.
-----
From this seat, I
can stare his back in such a short distance. However, it counts as a short
enjoyment and I cannot do anything about it. I knew I must have stopped at
certain point, but who cares? Just let me enjoy this sweet gift from the
Almighty. One thing to remember, for the record, we never ‘really’ had a live
conversation. It is two people having conversation face-to-face and not
offering something to buy for discount. Our last conversation would be him
telling me to turn my channel instead of watching K-Pop concert in TV.
“Watch some beneficial programs. It is better, though,”
“I am,” I replied for
twenty minutes later and in some ways it had been already at the end of the
shows. I was late.
“Sorry, but it ends,”
“You are end,”
I knew you were
disappointed, but I could not stand not watching Baekhyun Oppa singing Growl at
Music Bank Philippines. For a million times, sorry.
-----
First lesson of the
day is Javanese. I was actually happy knowing that this lesson would not have
been taught in high school. And the prime ministry had made such a mistake
putting it back to the curriculum. It was not like I hate it, but I had made
myself in so much joys to learn Japanese. I had made myself prepared.
Today is going to
be the day where we must present our Panyandra ( Javanese style for MCing) text. I had already prepared it
at home so I am totally ready but not too ready to go up presenting it in front
the people. You see here, I am not that type who can fluently speak in public.
First reason is going to be I hate being eyed by the public. Second is I just
hate socializing. What kind of human I am. I know I am horrible. Thank you.
In the beginning of the second semester, our
art teacher told us to change our seat into circle, square, or whatever we
like, when we were in art lesson. Art lesson is in the seventh-eight period, we
do not want to be so much in rush at the time so we had arranged it before. And
now, our seat placed like in Hogwarts. Nadine must be celebrating this joy
inside her mind palace.
-----
He come up to my
seat asking how he should read it in the way Javanese people usually do. I
refuse to help. I must prepare for the last time. And in this point, I become
so selfish than ever.
“Help me with the line,”
“Do it yourself,”
“Are you really going to be this selfish?”
“I can but I choose not to,”
“Read it for me,”
“I am not an expert. What do you expect?”
“At least, read it. And in that way, I know how this thing will go,”
“Sorry, but no,” He looks at me. It
is as if the time has stopped, everyone is freezing, and we both are the only
one able to make moves. However, sadly to say, I am the only who feels it in
the way.
“Read it,” as he gently poked my forehead.
“No,” I am freezing.
-----
20th August 1990
I am nervous as I
close my eyes, starting to wonder how I am going to get through for the next
three years. My social skill has gotten worst since people slowly and gradually
kept fading away from my sight. I already lost my sweet best kind-hearted
companion. Why did I have to lose three more? What sins did I commit that
forced me to suffer this eternal hell?
I walk into my new
classroom just to find out that I must spend my tenth grade with Broke --past I
want to deliberately erase out from.
A couple weeks
later, things have gone pretty well as I did not expect before. Surprisingly
amazing, I am happier than I thought I would not have been. I keep going home
with wide smile look on my face and Mom has been asking me why, but I never
give for how.
-----
Physic class will
be so much pleasing if someone actually understands what I have been presenting
about.
“Mind explain it once more? I am little bit
confused.”
“Not at all. Here look, you do not mention 0 in 930 as important
number. It is enough to say 93 as one of them.”
“Is it?”
“What is your name again?”
“Ross,” I was ready
to punch him in the face, but I realized that Ms. Eve stood behind the door, I
preferred to smile.
I never knew he was
my classmate. And after that humdrum talking, he became ‘friend’ of mine. From
that moment, I finally realized his presence.
-----
We chit chatted
maximal twice a day. And if there was no talking, I was easily fine with that.
He called me over in sudden.
“Can I borrow your cell phone?”
“What for?”
“I need to text someone.”
“Go ahead,” then I lent it to him without any hesitance because I
believed he would not have done anything that could harm myself physically and
mentally.
I remembered that I
had always done some cover songs. And sometimes I made them into a short video
through my cell phone. One time he borrowed it, he watched the video for then
laughed and turned me down. He showed it to Monica and Phoebe. They laughed at
me. That day had been my worst day of the month.
-----
28th October 1990
He always arrives
at school earlier than me. Sitting by the window as he reads book of wisdom, he
takes a glance at my late arrival for then back reading whatever written there.
And I am being carefree as usual. I take a seat in front row then put my bag as
I walk out from the class. I need to use the lavatory.
I am back and he
still patiently reads the book. The bell rings and lesson begins to start. He
put the book down and I stop staring at him.
Ms. Eve enters the
classroom as I prepare myself for Physic lesson as soon as she opens her
journal.
“Gather with your group and start
preparing for today’s experiment.”
“Yes, Miss.”
I call over Nadine.
She comes over me. Dane is busy with his new cell phone while he supposed to be
here, gathering with us. Nadine then pinches his elbow and drags him hard to
our seat. Our last issue will be Ross. He supposed to bring us a ball of string
and prepare all the equipments needed minutes ago. Dane explores the new cell
phone, Nadine is in charge to set the equipments, and I have been sitting in
the same pose for 10 minutes with anger.
“Hi,”
“You’re dead!” as we throw our
angry gazes to him.
“Move out, let me do that.”
“You know, we would not be like this if you came a little bit early,”
“I know,”
“WERE YOU PLAYING VIDEO GAMES IN THE LAVATORY, huh?”
“With friends,” as he tries to calm
us down but apparently he fails.
“Forget it, just do it,”
“Nadine is right. We are running out of time,” I butts in and almost throws a fist.
And in sudden, Dane comes in after putting his cell phone down.
Today is probably
the first time for me to be in the same group with him and almost shoot him in
the face. On the other hand, he does not look like being threatened. He
was just smiling and preferring to set the equipment as we kept chattering
about his clumsiness and his late arrival. He might have adopted some kind of
mental disorder like Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder though it is not
such a ‘mental’ disorder. We were busy bullying him and not expecting him
smiling widely listening to our nonsense deductions.
But today's hero is
going to be him. Our experiment was success. Thank you, Ross.
-----
24th February 1991
“We have been waiting for you for like an
hour,”
“Sorry, I am right on my way,”
“Where have you been, huh? Do not tell us you forgot today’s
rehearsal,” she starts to
volume up her voice. Phoebe knows my forgetful habit. I do not think she will
forgive me for now.
“You are such a ‘real’ friend,” as I try to seduce for her to forget this
matter.
“Come here in ten minutes or else you are
out.”
“Hey, calm yourself down. I know I am not the only who will not be
on time,”
“I can but you know she cannot.” Diana’s face starts to appear in my head. She is the captain of
our basketball team.
“She? Oh my god, I am
going”
“What? You said you were on the..” I cut off the telephone and start
panicking.
Mom can take such a
long time to dress herself up.
“Mom, cannot we leave right now?”
“You are in hurry? Ride your bike then,”
“Nooooo. Oh come on. I will get burn and you will not recognize me forever,”
“Be patient, it is called karma, dear.” She knows how to
turn the table over. She is the master. I then sit in silence and reflect my
act in the past. And I come up with a conclusion that mom has been going
through hard time because of me.
----
I am arriving for
fifteen minutes later. There they are. As if today is their last day to enjoy
playing the swing, at the corner of the school. So childish, I said as I
already join them swinging like an idiot.
“So, where are the others?”
“They are at the stadium,”
“Tell me you are joking. You said we would rehearse here,”
“Calm yourself down. Come on they are waiting there,”
“Easy for you to say, I did not bring motor. Mom drove me here,”
“Wait here, let me ask the boys,” Phoebe then calls
over Joey to give me ride. And apparently, he cannot.
“Yo, Chan. Chandler. Can you give
her a ride?”
“If ‘her’ you mean by Monica, I would be love to,”
“If you want to apologize by now, I can guarantee your life for tomorrow so
that you will be able to see the sunrise,”
“I doubt it,” Phoebe kick his
butt and leave him in pain.
It is funny to see them from here. I start wondering as if Ross would like to
drive me over.
“You are with Ross,” said Phoebe in hurry.
----
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