15.5.20

to ship, to pay

Sharing your stories to someone you can confide is truly a great thing. Someday you will find a friend who's dear enough not to judge you for every aspect within you. Go get a friend that can understand you better than yourself. But that sounds a bit greedy and overrated, don't you think? Everything has its limits. You cannot just find someone who's perfect, so flawless that will accept the way you are. These talks are craps.

The key of a healthy friendship is you get to commit that you trust a dear friend of yours and you will never have had wrong idea about her no matter what she has probably done to yourself, even to herself. Believing someone will lead to a good relationship. At least that's the very point one needs to get after living for quite while, mingling with bunch of different souls, different issues, different personality, different dreams. Even at some point, you feel like you are the only one who bears the responsibility of holding the ship together. 

Losing someone important changes you in some ways. When you lose your best friend because you guys no longer go to the same school, well that sucks. Or it could turn into big surprise that it was actually no one's faults but, yours. You missed your best friends so much that you tried your best to replace them. That was the only way, the only cycle you could think of. Without you realize, cutting them off of your life bit by bit taking your pain out. However, you are aware of the price you were going to pay. You just never thought that they might do the same.

Now only time can speak for itself. You sit down by the sunset, putting your right hand on the left chest, staring straight. Then you cry. Those good memories start lingering, showing how much you love them. Replacing someone was really childish, and you know you have not grown up yet.

If you lose your best friend, what will you do?

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